Something for the bikers.

The main headache with them (other than being badly built italian crap) is the bloody steering. A choice between far too light to drive and "f*ck me what was that" if the "girly" button is pressed.

A car that's actually worse than a Corsa, and that takes some doing.

Sir needs to try a Skoda Felicia...

Ah well, we get to play car hire roulette next week, so you never know. Last time it was an Alfa 147 the time before that a Chrysler PT Cruiser.

Now the latter really does take the definition of 'crap' to a new low.

I like both the punto and the felicia. They are actually designed to take adult sized people.

The Corsa was made for little china doll sized pygmies with stumpy little legs, a negative body mass index and a total lack of style taste.

Hell Drivers is the new Max.

No bikes, just lorries and William Hartnell. Can't go wrong.

I've been riding my wifes bike for the last two weeks with no shame at all. I'm only embarassed now by the number of wheels.

I find it noisy with dodgy steering (took me a day to find the girly button Mr. Firth mentions) and it goes decidedly odd down the front end if you brake hard firmly on a bend.

Generally supplied detuned, and strangled by emission controls. The Felicia needed multipoint injection and the bigger valve head of the facelift, to make similar power to the single twin choke carb of the same engine fitted to the Rapid. By bolting together the right factory bits, you can actually hang together a 100+bhp reliable engine.

Cam from a 1 litre S110R coupe. block/crank from a Late model rapid/favorit/felicia. Head from an MPi Felicia. Ford RS2000 Valves and Rover V8 valve springs. Factory Gooseneck manifold for a Rapid/Estelle, or shorty for a Felicia/Favorit. Twin 40DHLA. Factory Group A for the Favorit/Felicia, or Group B for the Rapid/Estelle, exhaust manifold and system.

Give everything a lighten and balance and it will rev to 8k instead of

The next step is a GEM ECU with bike throttle bodies and 150BHP+

not bad for a 1940's based 1.3 and no turbos.

Still f*ck all return for the cost, and it'll still be housed in a Skoda.

With all due respect, by the time you've replaced and worked on the block, crank, head, valves, manifold and ECU in any 1.3 car engine you can probably make it produce 100+bhp.

(c:

If it's in the back of a Rapid, it should be fun.

I know you don't give a toss, but I used to drive one of those green things. Heavy, noisy and dirty it was, but fun! 2nd Royal Tank Regiment, 1974 - 1978. And I got to make some big bangs too. Titter..

"When I were a lad...."

With equal respect, why not just buy one with a bigger engine in the first place, FFS?

Oh, it's you lot. You won't understand that, will you?

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "sweller" saying something like:

And that cad, Stanley Baker.

Because they didn't make one any bigger. "'Cuse me mister why is your Kwakazukiyamada drag bike only 1300cc, why didn't you buy one with a 4 litre engine instead of sticking a turbo and nitrous on the little one?"

There was a 1.5 bore/stroke kit for the 1.3, but it was tricky to get outside CZ as it was built in limited numbers through Skoda Motorsport to meet the Kitcar regs.

Well buy a different car then. It's not rocket science.

And the same goes for the Gixxers on the strip. Why bung turbos and nos on, when you could buy a bigger bike?

It ain't even spanner monkeying a bike, never mind rocket science.

The most optimistic car name of all time?

The parts come the scrappies. An MPi head is about =A315 The exhaust system/Manifold for a rapid/estelle is about =A345 in CZ new,= =20 and the 110R camshaft is still common in CZ parts breakers shops.

And I believe auto sport in Birmingham would would lighten a flywheel=20 and balance a set of rods and crank for about =A360 each, so under =A3150= =20 for both.

The dearest part would be carbs for a pair of used DHLA 40s

--=20 Carl Robson Audio stream:

You think you could just buy a bigger, more powerful bike than a Hayabusa? You really are thicker than IU thought then.