Dear Mr. Ford:
I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got on offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be tough to stomach. But it's not all bad news; your salvation, at least from the product side of the equation, is right in your own backyard, in Australia. I mention this because it's been the case for about 12 years now and you and your predecessors seem not to have noticed it.
Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
Pay attention, Mr. Ford, for this is the important part: *Don't f*ck them up*. Bring them intact. Do the bare minimum of changes necessary to comply with North American safety standards: Left-hand driving position, DOT-certified headlights and taillights, sidemarker lights and reflectors, US-spec airbags instead of the safer Australian ones, that kind of thing, sure, but don't downgrade the suspension, brakes, tires or anything else to bring the car in line with what you perceive as "American tastes". Your notions of "American tastes" are obviously in dire need of recalibration, and the machines linked herein are just the tools to do so. Most imperatively, don't replace the world-class
4-litre inline Six engine these cars have with the mediocre V6s you've heretofore foisted on North Americans. Do what is necessary to ensure that quality is built into the cars, not slapped on as an advertising slogan. Bring the cars *intact* from Australia.You don't sell anything I want, Mr. Ford, and you haven't for decades. But do this, Mr. Ford, and I'll buy one. Maybe even two. I bet I'm not alone.
--DS