My beloved Golf GTi.. but that's hardly interesting.
BMW 520i SE (E39) - Gutless, with a horrible horrible nasty nasty NASTY clutch action, if this is 170 BHP I'm not impressed, 2.2 sounds nice, but doesn't do much, also drinks like Oliver Reed at happy hour [1], not much in the way of gadgetry, and because it's not the sport it looks like it should belong to a particularly sober accounts manager. Handles well, steering is better than on the 540i, but it's no real fun, to enjoy it you have to cane it like Rachael Stevens in a school uniform.[2]
BMW 540i Sport Auto (E39) - Ah, that's better. 4.4 V8, 286 BHP, ooodles of torque, and lots and lots and lots of silly electrickery. Bloody quick as well. Not spectacular on ye olde 0-60 sprint (6.6 I think) but that's mainly cos of the traction control blinky lampage that doesn't stop flashing until about 90. Very quick and responsive otherwise. The only alternative being turn all the traction gizmos off and leave streaks of bloody expensive Continental rubber all over the shop. Nice to drive though, steerings a bit Tottenham [3], because it's a V8 and IIRC they use a recirculating ball job instead of a rat and pigeon. 31 mpg on the 90 mph run back from London to Liverpool four up with a boot full of luggage and golf clubs etc. Sounds fabulous as well, but only if booted, damn silent otherwise. Doesn't ride quite as well as the 520i, but who cares? It's on 17's and sport suspension, it's a *proper* giggle on B roads. Very nice Stereo with subs and a DSP.
Mercedes CLK 200 Kompressor. - Oh dear. Nice comfy seats, auto gearbox with alzheimers, nasty and not exactly quiet 4 pot motor with reasonable grunt when the supercharger is actually being a help and not a hindrance, decent stereo, irritating foot operated parking brake. Why do they insist on using these things? You either have to put your foot on the park brake and pull the release lever whilst slowly raising your left foot, or just pull the lever and hear a truly horrendous clang that you'd be upset to hear in a Yugo. Handles quiet well though, just have to drive it Merc style and go fast in an effective ground covering with no fun style, instead of having a laugh and actually enjoying yourself. Slow in, fast out, smoothly does it. Anything else and the safety nanny waves its big amber finger at you, applies the brakes and chucks a bathtub full of water on the sparkplugs until you grow up and act sensibly again. Pah! Only getting 25 mpg out of the bugger an all.
[1] Worse on juice than the 540i if driven quickly (90 - 110 on b roads) [2] Personal ambition is rattling Ms Stevens, not gonna happen though :-( [3] Yup, it's a right load of hotspurs [4] [4] Holly from Red Dwarf.